Akademik

(JET.uh.kuht, -ket)

n.

The rules or norms that govern correct or polite behavior while on board an airplane.

British Airways wants to make flying a more relaxing experience and has produced a good manners guide called Jetiquette. The airline hopes its code of conduct manual will help holiday-makers on low-cost flights get off to a smoother start. And if it works they will extend the booklets to all their flights.

— Jo Merrett, "The height of good manners," The Mirror, August 9, 2002

Town & Country magazine continues its ongoing mission to bring enlightenment to the darker regions of the continent with its October story on jetiquette — that is, how we conduct ourselves when invited on someone's private jet.

So pack those Vuittons and pay close attention:

According to T&C: 1. "Don't even dream of asking your host if you can help cover costs." (I have no problem with that.) 2. "No one should ever be tipped after a flight." (Man, this is the good life.) 3. "Your foremost responsibility is to arrive at the airport on time. The plane will be drinking up fuel at a rate you don't want to know about." (But I thought the point of flying private was so that I can be late if I want to) 4. Finally, "The host is never expected to apologize for a bumpy ride." (That's where I draw the line. The best part about flying is carping and whining at those flight attendants.)

— Alan Peppard, "Chucking the social life," The Dallas Morning News, October 8, 1995

The British Airways "Jetiquette" manual mentioned in the example citation contained a list of five tips for mannerly air travel:

• Appreciate your own personal space and others will appreciate yours — 46 per cent of passengers hate people encroaching on their space. Stretching your legs out, widening your arms above your neighbours' head and generally fidgeting will do little to endear you to your fellow flyers. Try to get comfortable at the beginning of the flight. While sitting, flex your wrists, neck and ankles at regular intervals, and during toilet breaks take the opportunity to fully stretch.

• Saucy canoodling under the blankets is out. No one else wants to watch your passionate embraces and 28 per cent of passengers actually complain about couples making out on flights. Besides, if you get carried away you could find yourself in court.

• Don't tell your life story to the person next to you. Small talk is OK but bores are a bugbear for 12 per cent of travellers. Keep it polite and chatty but remember that silence is golden.

• If you are listening to a CD player keep the volume down to a level where only you can hear it. The only thing more irritating than loud music is tinny music played through someone else's headphones. It's a pain for 10 per cent of holiday-makers.

• Don't shout at friends and family across the aisle of the plane. It might be the only holiday you get all year and you are excused for being excited. But it doesn't mean you have to deafen the person next to you by yelling at the rest of your party. More than four per cent of people who fly gave it as a major annoyance.

Jetiquette — a nice blend of the words jet and etiquette — joins a few other etiquette-related terms that have been coined in recent times. The most famous is probably netiquette (1982; net + etiquette), which is a set of conventions that govern online behavior. See my netiquette guide for some of the details:

http://www.mcfedries.com/ramblings/email-netiquette.asp: http://www.mcfedries.com/ramblings/email-netiquette.asp

Another is petiquette (1986; pet + etiquette), norms that dictate the correct behavior of people with pets. One that appears only rarely is wetiquette (1999; wet + etiquette), rules related to water-based sports and games. A tongue-in-cheek coinage is croquettiquette (1993; croquet + etiquette). Finally, there's also a company called Exetiquette that teaches etiquette to executives.